Enoument

Hola!

It’s been a while 

Can’t believe that I survive 2021 without hesitation. Well, the pandemic is still going on and we’ll never know when will this tragedy ends, or never. 

Fyi, I got my first job in a tax consultant. The only thing I realize is that this job is what I expected over the last two years. After graduating, I planned to focus on tax since I have a lack of skill to learn accounting, even it’s still related to each other, I’m more into tax. 

Having dualism in life was a burden to me. A half of me wanted me to work in art industry, but the rest of me said the contrary, I still wanted to work in a company. 

I didn’t know myself well. 

Being too rebellious is not my thing, I’m being a realists but sometimes idealists. 

I decided to calculate my talents, then I realize that I’m not too good in creating arts, I’m just imitating it. That’s why I need to learn more, maybe it takes a lot of time to find the characters. In reality, if I wasting my time too much on this problem, I will lost the other opportunities. Why don’t you try another thing? I asked my self. 

I tried the thing I dislike, but I actually need it and I believe I have a potential (in my realistic feeling), working at a company. I applied for an internship in a tax consultant for 6 months, even I passed the peak season.  Fun fact: I don’t like that 6 months period. 

I keep going with my illustration, I convert from traditional to digital arts. I love it but I’m still struggling with finding my character. I hate drawing body and making a raw sketch. 

Since then, I believe that even we try our best to choose something that we like the most, there always been some parts that we don’t like, that’s valid. 

So I stop pushing myself  to find my ‘real happiness’ because I can find it everywhere.  

I clearly understand myself that I hate options, why do we always have to choose something and sacrifice another thing? Why do I have to choose between these two if I can take both of them?

Do I want to change the past? Maybe if I could turn back the time I will be able to choose the art study, international relations, or other things. “I can fix the past” 

But thanks, I never want to change the things, even the worst thing in my life. I failed so many times, I got rejections, scars, wounded, what happened just happened. I never regret for my past, I just have to learn from them and stay alive to face today and future. 

Thank you,

Regards,

Husna Aulia Maghfirah

 Hola!

Quarantine days make my day seem longer than it seems. We all know that we have to be thankful for everything that happened and always take the positive side, like what I do during this quarantine, which is reading books. 

Yap, I have a plenty of books and I don't have much time reading those books since I was too busy with my graduation matters (fyi I'm unemployment now, still looking for a job that fits me, believe me, being an adult is suck). Fun fact is that I don't buy any new books at all, I just re-reading the books that I have. and guess what happen to me? Reading the old books but with a different age creates a different perspective. 

I decided to read my old books such as Sapiens and Homo Deus by Yuval Noah Harari, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, and the last one is Everything is Fucked by Mark Manson. 

It contains 273 pages, there are two parts: Hope and Everything is Fucked, with 9 chapters. Here's the look:

Okay I will just go directly to my favorite parts:

Feeling Brain vs Thinking Brain

The first phase of the book, it tells us the story about uncomfortable truth. He describes about what makes us keep hoping on someone or something which actually suck. It tells us about how feeling and thinking brain are inseparable but can not be combined to make a harmony. Thinking brain is accurate, rational, effortlessly, and make a quick decision, while feeling brain is inaccurate, irrational, a bit queen drama and overreacting. However, thinking brain can't change the way a feeling brain works. The feeling brain has a bigger power than thinking brain. We are moved into action only by emotion. 

In fact, the feeling brain has its dark side and can lead us to dangerous thing. That's why, we need to do something with the feeling brain. But what we can do? Well, the only thing that feeling brain can feel is an 'empathy'. So instead of bombarding the feeling brain about the hard questions such as mathematics, politics, economics, about homework, about the punishment, or about the failure, it's better to ask "How's your feeling today? Are you okay?", meaning that thinking brain can 'suggest' the feeling brain to change its bad decision by pleasuring it with comfortable way. 

The Differences between Child, Adolescent, and Adult

I think that this is one of the best parts of this book, how he perfectly distinguishes between children, adolescents, and adults. Here's how he differentiate it:

- Child              : doing something for pleasure

- Adolescent    : doing something base on the principle for his/ her pleasure

- Adult             : doing something because of his/her principle.

he illustrates by using a stolen ice cream.

Child stealing ice cream from refrigerator because it feels good, kids love ice cream. stealing ice cream even your mom knows it, it's still a pleasure. 

Adolescent decides to not to steal the ice cream because he/she afraid about the consequences that might happen such as punishment.

But an adult decides to not to steal ice cream because he/she knows stealing is 'wrong'. That's all.

He says that life can't be gained through bargaining. It's like when you force someone to respect you, they will never respect you. If you try to convince someone to trust you, they will never trust you. Being an adult is about doing something right because of the simple reasons that it's right. Not because for other things, or other rewards. It's like when you love someone without expecting anything in return because you know that it's the only way to make love real.

if you want to be respected, then respect them. if you want to be trusted, trust them. If you want to teach someone to love, love them. 

Immanuel Kant stated that what makes human differences that other species is that we are able to make reason, we're able to decide what is 'important'. He creates "the Formula of Humanity" which states that: "Act that you use humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of any other, always at the same time as an end, never merely as a means"

means are something we do conditionally. end is something that is desired for its own sake. If we do something for our desire such as buying a bag, new smartphone, or new clothes to makes your wife happy, that's a means. But if you buy those things to make your wife want to have sex with you, then you treat her as an end. It's dangerous. 

The problem now is that people treating people as a mean to some other end. This is the example of immaturity. Something that we face today, as we know that today is no longer the debate between communism and capitalism, no longer about wars, but it's about how human crisis of character, means versus end. 

Pain is the Universal Constant

what if there were no crime in this world?

imagine how a perfect society would be formed. But, this kind of world just make thing gets worse. Protecting people from problems  or adversity doesn't make them happier or more secure; it makes them more easily insecure.

This is really an uncomfortable truth. As I read this part, I realize that I can't avoid pain in my whole life. Even the sun bright all day long, everyday, there will be a moment there is a cloudy sky. It tells us about pain is everywhere, we can't deny pain. The pain itself that form us to become 'antifragile' which is stronger than the strong itself.

Pain makes value. If people don't die, get immortal life, how can be value the importance of life? Failure in exam makes us put a value to study, it's like a mainstream quote: "sometimes you don't realize how important someone until you lose her/him". Being an antifragile is an adult: they benefit from the unexpected. The more problem they get, the more value of work hard they get. 

This part has taught me about how being a real human, being wealth is not about having a fancy car, luxury house, golds, jewels, and other shining things, but we can define a real wealth is through our character. The quality of our lives is determined by the quality of our character, and the quality of our character is determined by our relationship to our pain.

and in the ending phase, it tells us about the technology. How technology changes us, how dangerous is that if we can't control it properly. Technology gives what we want, not what we need. It makes everything so efficient, the intention is good. but they forget that world runs by feeling. Human acts by feeling. and feeling can't be wrong. 

Overall... this book is incredible! This book is as good as the previous one (The Subtle Art of not Giving a Fuck). 

It suggests us to change our behavior, not be better human, but more human. 

there might be some parts which are too sensitive since he discusses about religion and dark humor. but the moral value is executed well at the end of the book. We seem to follow how Mark Manson collecting his references, interpreting those references, and showing his arguments but with a fun way. Seriously, I can't deny to not to laugh since some parts of the books contain a joke. 

My rate: 8/10

Hola! Kali ini film yang dibahas adalah film original netflix dari Tiongkok disutradarai Rene Liu yang patut diperhitungkan. Kenapa demikian? Langsung saja pada penjelasannya (SPOILER ALERT)

Film ini memiliki 2 plot (maju dan mundur), satu latar berwarna, dan satunya lagi berwarna hitam-putih. Latar berwarna menggambarkan masa lalu, sementara hitam-putih menggambarkan masa depan.

Cerita diawali dengan pertemuan Jianqing (Jing Boran) dan Xiaoxiao (Zhou Dongyu) di dalam pesawat. Mereka nampak agak canggung, namun masa lalu mereka 10 tahun yang lalu membawa mereka untuk kembali saling berbicara lebih dalam. 

Jianqing dan Xiaoxiao bertemu di tahun 2007, tepatnya di dalam kereta dari Beijing menuju kampung halaman mereka masing-masing. Pertemuan itu berawal dari Xiaoxiao yang kehilangan tiket keretanya, kemudian dibantu oleh Jianqing. Mereka pun jadi akrab dan bergabung dengan teman-teman lainnya di kereta. 

Jianqing hanya hidup berdua dengan ayahnya di kampung. Ayahnya membuka semacam kedai makan dan setiap ada tahun baru, ayahnya pasti kedatangan teman-teman dan para tetangganya untuk makan bersama. Xiaoxiao sendiri tidak tahu apa yang sebenarnya ia cari saat pulang ke kampung halamannya karena ia merasa sudah tidak punya siapa-siapa, ia pun akhirnya bergabung dengan Jianqing malam itu merayakan tahun baru bersama. 

Mereka berdua semakin akrab dan mereka mulai membicarakan tentang mengejar mimpi dan menjadi orang sukses di Beijing. Sungguh mimpi yang besar. Merekapun membawa mimpi itu dan benar-benar merantau ke Beijing demi hidup yang lebih baik, but you know this is not a dream world, this is reality. Kehidupan mereka tidak seindah yang mereka rencanakan di sana. 

Jianqing bermimpi menjadi game developer harus bekerja di sebuah toko barang elektronik bersama teman-temannya. Sementara Xiaoxiao yang bermimpi menikah dengan pria Beijing benar-benar mendapatkan pria yang ia idamkan, namun sayang hubungannya dengan pria itu harus kandas karena tidak direstui oleh orang tua si pria dengan alasan latar belakang Xiaoxiao yang kurang menurut ibunya. Xiaoxiao pun kehilangan tempat tinggal dan terpaksa ia meningap di tempat Jianqing yang sangat sempit untuk 2 orang.

Alhasil mereka harus hidup bersama dan saling berbagi di tempat sempit itu. Jianqing pun ditinggalkan teman-temannya yang ingin bekerja lebih baik, ia pun berakhir jadi penjual kaset ilegal, Sementara itu Xiaoxiao terus berusaha mencari pria idamannya dengan berbagai cara, salah satunya dengan berdandan mengenakan wig agar terlihat menarik. Namun lagi-lagi saat ia menjalin hubungan dengan seorang pria, ternyata pria itu sudah beristri dan beranak.

Jianqing pun menghibur Xiaoxiao agar tidak bersedih, Jianqing pun masih mengerjakan game yang ia rancang, tokoh dalam game itu adalah Ian dan Kelly yang bercerita tentang perjuangan Ian mencari Kelly. Xiaoxiao pun bertanya, "bagaimana jika Ian tidak pernah menemukan Kelly?"

Jianqing pun menjawab, "Maka dunianya tidak akan pernah berwarna"

Jianqing dan Xiaoxiao pacaran layaknya anak muda kebanyakan yang dimabuk cinta, saling menyayangi dan menjaga.

Namun ternyata rasa cinta itu kalah besar dari ego mereka masing-masing. Jianqing yang tertekan karena ambisinya, berubah drastis dan Xiaoxiao tidak bisa lagi menerima keadaan Jianqing yang menurutnya sudah keterlaluan, Xiaoxiao pun memutuskan pergi meninggalkan Jianqing, dan Jianqing pun tidak melarang Xiaoxiao pergi. Mereka pun berpisah.

OKAY, this film brought me into tears. I think this is beautiful, touched, meaningful, but ironic at the same time. 

Imagine when two people are falling in love, but the world against them. Uang pas-pasan, makan satu bungkus mie instan untuk berdua, terpaksa naik taksi padahal ongkosnya bisa buat mereka makan beberapa kali. In reality, tidak semua pasangan bisa 'tahan' dan 'sabar' dengan kondisi seperti ini. Banyak perpisahan terjadi karena masalah ekonomi yang berujung pada perbedaan pandangan hidup, padahal masih saling cinta. 

Applause untuk akting Zhou Dong Yu yang membawa karakter Xiaoxiao menjadi seorang yang ceria, manis, baik dan sabar. Terlebih ia bisa membangun hubungan yang baik dengan ayah Jian Qing. Emosi Xiaoxiao benar-benar terpancar. Kemudian Jing Boran, awalnya speechless juga Jing Boran bisa bermain dengan baik menjadi Jian Qing karena awalnya kenal Jing Boran dengan karakter cool nya di Love O2O. 

Kembali ke adegan, salah satu momen yang heartbreaking adalah saat Jianqing dan Xiaxiao menyadari kesalahan masing-masing di masa lalu, dan Jianqing yang menyesali keputusannya tidak melarang Xiaoxiao pergi saat itu. Namun apa daya, nasi sudah menjadi bubur, terlebih saat Xiaoxiao melihat cincin di jari manis Jainqing, yang artinya Jianqing sudah memiliki istri. 

Bocoran yang lebih: awalnya gak sadar kalau Jianqing ini sudah married. Namun setelah perhatikan lagi dia pakai cincin di jari manis DAN.... Jianqing dapat video call dari anak kecil yang ternyata anaknya Jianqing. 

Agak kecewa sebenarnya karena nasib Xiaoxiao tidak senikmat Jian Qing di masa depan. Ia masih harus berjuang padahal ialah yang sudah menemani Jian Qing dari nol.Inilah yang saya pikirkan saat pertama kali menonton film ini. Namun, setelah saya tonton ulang, hal ini lebih dari itu. Meninggalkan Jian Qing adalah keputusannya, bahkan saat Jian Qing sudah sukses ia tak berharap agar bisa kembali bersama pria itu karena Xiaoxiao sudah 'berdamai' dengan dirinya sendiri dan kenyataan bahwa ia tidak akan bisa bersama Jian Qing lagi, and she's okay with that. 

Diakhir pertemuan mereka saat itu, mereka memutuskan untuk berpisah secara 'benar', mengingat di masa lalu mereka berpisah dengan cara yang buruk.

"Let's make our farewell properly. Goodbye Jian Qing Lin" 

"Xiao Xiao Fang, goodbye"

"Pick the stars from the sky, bring the pearls from the ocean"

"You will find that person"

Secara sinematografi film ini sangatlah indah, seperti tidak sedang menonton Chinese film melainkan seperti film Hollywood, sebagai film debut garapan, Rene Liu patut diacungi dua jempol. Apalagi saya amaze dengan ide 2 latar warna berbeda yang dibuat yaitu latar berwarna untuk masa lalu dan latar hitam putih untuk masa depan yang melambangkan jika hidup Jian Qing selama perpisahannya dengan Xiaoxiao tidak berwarna, dan itulah yang menjadi inspirasi Jian Qing membuat game yang mengantarkannya pada kesuksesannya sekarang.

Film ini bukan hanya menceritakan kisah cinta klise Jian Qing dan Xiaoxiao yang sebenarnya di realita juga kejadian kepada beberapa orang alias jagain jodoh orang terlebih dari susah, tapi film ini juga menggambarkan hubungan yang 'buruk' antara Jian Qing dan ayahnya. Si ayah kurang mengerti dengan impian Jianqing, hubungan merekapun terlihat kaku. Namun dilubuk hati sang ayah, ia sangat menyayangi Jianqing. 

Kita pun diperlihatkan  realita yang juga dialami sebagian orang, semakin kita tua maka kebersamaan kita juga akan luntur. Kiranya begitulah yang terjadi di rumah makan ayah Jianqing yang dulu ramai saat tahun baru, namun semakin tahun semakin sepi, bahkan sampai ayah Jianqing merayakan tahun baru sendirian. Hingga suatu hari, sang ayah buta karena penyakit tuanya. 

Sampai Jian Qing sukses karena game yang ia buat, Jian Qing berkunjung ke kampung halamannya dan membelikan ayahnya TV baru, namun nampak sang ayah tidak terlalu tertarik, yang ayahnya inginkan hanyalah kebahagiaan anaknya, hingga ayahnya meninggal. Ini tentu kembali lagi ke realita kehidupan sebenarnya, orang tua memang hanya mengharapkan yang terbaik untuk anak-anak mereka tanpa meminta balasan apapun. 

Hingga di akhir kisah, Jianqing membacakan surat dari ayahnya (ini part meneteskan air mata). Intinya adalah, jika ada kesempatan untuk mengatakan cinta pada orang yang kita sayang, maka lakukanlah sebelum itu terlambat karena waktu tidak datang dua kali. Itulah yang dirasakan Jian Qing, hingga akhir hayat ayahnya, Jianqing tidak sempat mengatakan ia menyayangi ayahnya.