Surprisingly, I still exist in 2026
I couldn't believe that it took me years to get back to this place to write something.
The last news from me was my graduation from college about 6 years ago. I was so happy back then, so proud of myself. But this life keeps pushing and drowning me.
Not long after graduation, the pandemic hit and ruined everything. I spent my days doing as much as I could, from improving my painting and gardening to selling some snacks. I don't want to stop doing something, or I will go insane.
In 2021, I got my first full-time job, and I headed to Jakarta to start my journey. It was a turning point in my life. I left everything in my home and went to another city with no plan. All I wanted was to keep moving, as I do not want to stop doing something. My mom came with me; it seemed like she just opened the cage so that her dove could fly. I saw her crying on the plane we were on. I pretended to see that moment because I didn't want to regret my decision at that time. And you know what, I truly never regret it to this day.
From that day I left my home, I never really had a "home" anymore. Every time I have a chance to get home, I can stay for a long time. Everything feels so strange, but the silver lining is that our meeting always feels so precious to me. I respect my parents more, listen to them, and never yell at them anymore. I also noticed that they get older, so much older. Their hair turns grey, their skin becomes more wrinkled, and their stamina is not as strong as in the old days.
From 2021 to 2026, I faced a lot of things in my life. I even survived the 27th of age. But the same thing as when I first stepped into this big city, I don't have any specific plan, I just want to keep moving, but the road where I'm driving on now becomes more confusing. My friendship starts to keep distant and move forward with each other's life decisions, and I become more lonely than usual. The world I recognise is becoming bigger and bigger every day, making me realise I am just a small fraction of this world.
I need to light the fire of my ambition once again. So this year, I just made a big decision in my life to keep 'moving'. I still can't write it here, but I hope that every decision I make is the right one, as people say that the firstborn daughter is never wrong. I also hope that the next writing is always about the good news.
That's all!